(4-5 Minute Read)
The Office D’var Torah Challenge
My wife is obsessed with The Office, the hit comedy show starring Steve Carrell and documenting the lives and misadventures of a dysfunctional staff of a paper company. And don’t get me wrong; I like The Office as well. But my wife gleefully watches episode after episode, sometimes the same episode repetitively, until I literally can’t stand it any more.
And then I came up with an idea. It was a challenge of sorts, almost a dare even. I challenged my wife and I to try to find a nugget of Jewish spirituality in her favorite episodes of the zany comedy series, and then we would write a d’var Torah article about it.
Does that sound ridiculous? Absurd? It is. Completely. But we thought we would give it a try anyway. And if that goes well, we might even try to find inspiration for other d’var Torah pieces based on other television shows, books, or more elements of pop culture.
Besides, some of the primary writers, producers, and actors on the show, including Paul Lieberstein and B.J. Novak, are themselves Jewish, so we figured that had to count for something.
So, for better or for worse, here are the first results of The Office D’var Torah Challenge.
“The Dinner Party” (Season 4, Episode 9/13)
Synopsis: After deceptively inducing his staff to clear their evening schedules for a bogus overtime assignment, Michael Scott (their boss) then cancels the work and invites Jim and Pam as well as Andy and Angela to his house for a dinner party with his girlfriend, Jan Levinson-Gould. Jim and Pam reluctantly arrive at Michael and Jan’s home, followed by Andy and Angela. Later, Dwight and his guest (who were not invited) join the party. Eventually, the dinner party goes from awkward to nightmarish. The party games are terrible, the food takes an eternity to cook, the women drink too much and begin to catfight with each other, and Michael and Jan descend into relationship bickering that makes the rest of the guests haplessly cringe before they can escape.
“The Dinner Party” is one of my wife’s favorite episodes, and she has made me watch it with her countless times. It wasn’t until our most recent viewing, however, that something dawned on me. Jan Levinson-Gould is presumably a Jewish woman (based on her last name) hosting a dinner event on Friday night. She is also a “candle connoisseur” seeking to establish her own scented candle business, and initiates the Friday evening dinner party with the lighting of candles. Immediately thereafter, she pops open a bottle of red wine and fills her guests’ glasses. Now, I am sure that these details are primarily all just a coincidence, but the fact remains that “The Dinner Party” is, in a twisted sense, actually a portrayal of the very worst Shabbat dinner ever!
First off, let’s discuss briefly the importance of Shabbat and the peaceful sanctity that it provides the home (unless, of course, you are invited to dinner on Friday night with Michael and Jan). For many Jews who are not yet fully observant as well as non-Jews, Shabbat can seem burdensome. The concept of shutting off our phones, our television (yes, even The Office), and spending time in prayer in the local synagogue can seem rigid, and maybe even oppressive to some. My simple advice on the matter is, “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” My wife and I would describe Shabbat as a mini-vacation of one day each week. It is a time to turn off the outside world and tune in to our connection with G-d, our community, and especially each other. The original reasoning behind the avoidance of using electronics on Shabbat related to a prohibition against kindling fire on Shabbat (e.g. Shemot / Exodus 35:1-3) and an early concern over perceived similarities between electricity and combustion. But perhaps a more relevant reason involves maintaining the sanctity of Shabbat in spirit and in mood. Each week my wife and I (and all other Torah observant Jews) turn off our phones, shut down our e-mail and social media accounts, and flip off the television. It’s not a time for distractions; it’s a time for focus. When a man and a woman go to a nice restaurant on a date, neither person wants to watch the other spend half of the evening distracted on their phone. The purpose of the meal is for the couple to spend time with each other and connect without distraction. And even in “The Dinner Party,” the guests spend time trying to connect with each other (albeit failing miserably). Similarly, the purpose of Shabbat is to encourage the Jewish people to take a breath and remove the distractions, enabling us to connect with G-d and others in an optimal way. And just from the standpoint of marriage and family the time spent with one another is priceless, and lends itself to the building and maintenance of strong families focused on each other. As a side note, the climax of the episode occurs when Jan Levinson-Gould becomes enraged with Michael and throws one of his infamous “Dundee” trophies at his prized plasma television, smashing the screen and destroying it. Perhaps even Jan, a seemingly Jewish television character understood something about the sanctity of Shabbat, and proactively made sure that their dinner party would adhere to strict Shabbat regulations of no television viewing… (Just kidding).
Another lesson that can be derived from “The Dinner Party” is the destructive nature of selfishness. The majority of the problems that arise during this episode are ultimately related to Jan’s selfishness. While Michael is no doubt a very difficult romantic partner, it is clear that the relationship revolves exclusively around the whims and desires of Jan. The idea portrayed in this episode is that selfishness in Michael and Jan’s relationship results in a breakdown of the connection and total collapse of shalom beit, or peace in the home.
Rabbi Haim of Romshishok, Lithuania, is credited with telling the following parable:
What is the difference between the afterlife of the righteous and the afterlife of the wicked? In both afterlifes, the inhabitants are given access to food, but they only have very long, unwieldy utensils. [In some versions, the arms of the inhabitants are lacking elbows.] In the place of the wicked, the inhabitants suffer and starve because they are selfish and uncooperating. But in the place of the righteous, the inhabitants feed each other across the table, and they are happy and satisfied. And so that is the difference between the abode of the righteous and the abode of the wicked. They have the same resources and the same opportunities. But the wicked selfishly focus on themselves to their collective detriment, while the righteous focus on each other to their universal benefit and satisfaction.
The concept presented by Rabbi Haim of Romshishok is that selfishness causes misery, whereas generosity results in happiness for all. It should be noted, however, that the analogy only works if all persons involved equally cooperate and engage in unselfishness and generous living. Otherwise, the equation becomes imbalanced and dysfunctional.
The same can be seen in “The Dinner Party” and the relationship between Michael and Jan. As difficult as Michael can undoubtedly be in any social interaction, let alone a romantic relationship, he is clearly the generous party in the home. Jan, however, takes advantage of his generosity and repays him with selfishness. The result is a dysfunctional home and a disintegration of shalom beit, much to the chagrin of the other characters and the amusement of the viewing audience.
May we all bring the sanctity of Shabbat in our homes, removing distractions and focusing on what’s important: our relationships with G-d, with our loved ones, and with our communities. And may we continue to thrive within those relationships and communities by universally embracing chesed, generosity and kindness, and diminishing the selfishness that detracts from our shalom beit, or peace in our homes and families.
