(3-4 Minute Read)
Deuteronomy 7:12-11:25
Moses’ discourse continues in this week’s Torah parasha, or portion, called Eikev. Moses repeatedly encouraged the Jewish people to observe all of the commandments of the Torah, revering none but the Almighty. Moses further reminded the Jewish people that the Most High would assist them in conquering the land of Israel, and that they should avoid the idolatry and other evil practices of the local inhabitants. Moses additionally recounted the congregation of Israel provoking the Eternal One to anger near Mount Sinai through the infamous incident of the golden calf and other disobedience, and noted that only incessant intercession secured compassionate mercy from the Most High towards His people. Moses again reiterated that the Jewish people are to love and revere the Holy One, Blessed Be He, only, and accordingly to keep His commandments in the Torah. If the Jewish people did so, Moses assured them of pending blessings, especially in the land of Israel.
The key theme of this parasha can be defined in the following pasukim, or verses:
“And now, O Israel, what does the L-RD your G-d demand of you? Only this: to revere the L-RD your G-d, to walk only in His paths, to love Him, and to serve the L-RD your G-d with all your heart and soul, keeping the
L-RD’s commandments and laws, which I enjoin upon you today, for your good… You must revere the L-RD your G-d: only Him shall you worship, to Him shall you hold fast, and by His name shall you swear…. Love, therefore, the L-RD your G-d, and always keep His charge, His laws, His rules, and His commandments.”
Devarim (Deuteronomy) 10:12-13, 20; 11:1
As Rabbi Shalom Rubanowitz of The Shul on the Beach in Venice, California, once taught, a crucial concept of the Torah and Judaism that we can derive from Eikev is the contrast between “loving” the Eternal One and “fearing, revering, and respecting” Him. But what is the difference between love and respect?
Although one could reasonably argue that love and respect are two sides of the same coin, there are key differences that create a distinction between the two. Love is expressing affection and admiration for someone or something that (ideally) results in positive actions on the behalf of the person or object of that affection. Respect is understanding and maintaining courteous boundaries, restricting one’s own behavior and conduct towards someone or something else. Another way of expressing the concepts is that love is more active and respect is more reactive.
We can illustrate the difference between love and respect with the following analogy using “Bob” as our subject. Love is when Bob gives his wife an unsolicited bouquet of flowers and a sentimental note of appreciation (and not when he is trying to soothe her justified fury over an inconsiderate infraction). Respect is when “Bob” avoids cutting someone else in line at the grocery store checkout. In the first example, Bob loves his wife, and he has engaged in an act of kindness and appreciation for her. In the second example, Bob has no actual love for the total stranger getting in line at the grocery store in front of him. Rather, he is respectful of their personal time and interests, and therefore he restricts his own behavior to that which is courteous and polite.
The difference between love and respect is a concept that is alluded to repeatedly throughout the Torah, Tanakh, and the commentaries of the chachamim (rabbinical sages). Perhaps the best example of his difference can be found in the Aseret HaDibrot, or Ten Commandments, when the Almighty commanded us to honor (i.e. respect) our parents. Contrary to popular belief, the Torah never at any time instructs us to love our parents; the requirement is to honor and respect them. Ideally, every person should have a loving relationship with their parents, and every parent should do their best to maintain such a relationship. And Judaism emphatically notes the importance of this type of dynamic. However, the Eternal One in His infinite wisdom was aware that, very unfortunately, such a dynamic is not always possible. In some tragic cases, it is not necessarily feasible for all children to love their parents. The Most High acknowledged this sad possibility. Instead, He requires us to honor and respect our parents regardless of our level of love for them. That means that the Torah commandment of honoring our parents relates to interacting with our parents in a manner that, at the very least, is not disrespectful or otherwise negative and reproachable.
Moses understood that both love and respect are required for the Jewish people (and everyone else, for that matter) to have a proper and successful relationship with the Almighty. This concept is the key lesson of Eikev. We are to love the Holy One, Blessed Be He, in that we actively seek to obey his Torah commandments because we know that is what He wants us to do, much like a child would obey his or her father because he or she loves Him and wants Him to be happy. And many of these Torah commandments involve us additionally loving our fellow person because we love the Eternal One, as is noted in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 10. By the same token, we are also to respect and revere the Most High, understanding Who He is as our Creator, as the Master of the Universe, as the one and only Supreme Deity, and as our Almighty Protector Who brought our ancestors out of Egypt, and Who brings us out of our own “personal Egypts” each and every day. Combining these concepts of love and respect for the Eternal One, as Moses insisted repeatedly, is the winning formula for observing the Torah, having a positive and fulfilling relationship with the Eternal One, and receiving the ensuing blessings thereof.
May the Holy One, Blessed Be He, grant us all to maintain a connection with Him based on both love and respect. And may we accordingly keep and observe the commandments of the Torah to our fullest potential. And may we, our families, and our communities all be blessed by the Most High accordingly.
